1981 FRANK ZAPPA STEVE VAI U ARE WHAT YOU IS PROMO LP LYRICS INSERT+PROMO POSTER

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SEPTEMBER 23RD 1981 - FRANK ZAPPA - YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS - ORIGINAL USA GOLD STAMP PROMO - THERE'S A GOLD PROMO STAMP ON THE BACK COVER, HOWEVER THERE WERE NEVER ANY PROMO LABELS ISSUED ON THIS LP FOR THE USA PRESSINGS - BUT STILL YOU KNOW SINCE IT'S A PROMO, IT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST PRESSINGS MADE FROM THE STAMPERS AND BOTH RECORDS LOOK AND SOUND GREAT - INCLUDES THE ORIGINAL SONG LYRICS AND SHUT UP 'N PLAY YER GUITAR AD WITH ORDER FORM - HEY, SPEAKING OF LYRICS: "THERE ARE 3 THINGS THAT SMELL LIKE FISH, ONE OF THEM IS FISH, THE OTHER TWO, ARE GROWING ON YOU" - FRANK ZAPPA FROM THE SONG "JUMBO GO AWAY" - LEMME TELL YA', THEY JUST DON'T WRITE LYRICS LIKE ANY MORE - BUT WAIT...., THERE'S MORE...., BECAUSE ALSO INCLUDED IS THE RARE 'N EXCITING ORIGINAL 24 X 36 INCHES YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS PROMO POSTER - THE PROMO POSTER HAS NEVER BEEN FOLDED, WHICH MEANS I'M GONNA HAVE TO SEND IT SEPARATELY IN A SHIPPING TUBE  - BARKING PUMPKIN RECORDS - PW2 37537- CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS - OK LARRY? 

SIDE A POOTS FORTH:TEEN-AGE WIND - HARDER THAN YOUR HUSBAND - DOREEN - GOBLIN GIRL - THEME FROM THE 3RD MOVEMENT OF SINISTER FOOTWEAR. 

SIDE B OOZES OUT: SOCIETY PAGES - O'M A BEAUTIFUL GUY - BEAUTY KNOWS NO PAIN - CHARLIE'S ENORMOUS MOUTH - ANY DOWNERS? - CONEHEAD.

SIDE C WIPES UP: YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS - MUDD CLUB - THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT NOTHING - DUMB ALL OVER. 

SIDE D FLUSHES DOWN: HEAVENLY BANK ACCOUNT - SUICIDE CHUMP - JUMBO GO AWAY - IF ONLY SHE WOULDA' - DRAFTED AGAIN.

THE ALBUM COVER HAS A LITTLE RING WEAR ON THE FRONT AND BACK COVERS. NICE LOOKING INSIDE THE GATEFOLD. NO SEAM SPLITS. NO WRITING. NO TAPE. HEY, HOW'S ABOUT CHECKING OUT THE PHOTOS YO'SELF?

BOTH RECORDS LOOK GREAT AND SOUND PERFECT AND SINCE THEY ARE PROMOS THEY WERE ONE OF THE FIRST PRESSING MADE FROM THE STAMPERS. MAYBE A FEW TINY SCUFFS. NO SPINDLE MARKS. LOOK LARRY, YOU'LL BE THRILLED AND DELIGHTED TO HEAR THESE RECORDS AGAIN, ALTHOUGH YOUR WIFE MIGHT LEAVE YOU. BUT HEY, YOU MIGHT BE THRILLED AND DELIGHTED ABOUT THAT TOO. ONE TINY SEAM SPLIT ON THE CENTER OF ONE OF THE ORIGINAL LYRICS / AD INNER SLEEVES, BUT IT'S OBVIOUS THAT THIS ALBUM HAS LIVED A GOOD LIFE FOR THE PAST 37 YEARS. BESIDES, BOTH RECORDS COME IN HIGH QUALITY TYPE OF COLLECTOR'S INNER SLEEVES ANYWAY, BUT WAIT..., THERE'S MORE..., BECAUSE DUE TO THE FACT THAT WEEZE TIGHT, I'M GONNA GIVE YEZ A PLASTIC OUTER SLEEVE ABSOLUTELY FREE.

THE POSTER HAS A PIN HOLE IN EACH CORNER AND ONE ALONG THE EDGE ON THE SIDES. A LITTLE EDGE WEAR AND A COUPLE TINY TEARS IN A SMALL AREA ON ONE OF THE EDGES. . BASICALLY IT'S STILL A PRETTY NICE AND RARE POSTER. GETS SENT ROLLED IN A SHIPPING TUBE. KINDA' LOOKS LIKE THE CARDBOARD PIECE YOU FIND IN THE CENTER OF A ROLL OF TOILET PAPER WHEN YOU RUN OUT AND DON'T WIPE YOUR FECES CAKED BUTTOCKS. EXCEPT MUCH LONGER AND WIDER. YOU'LL LOVE IT, IT'S A WAY OF LIFE.  

YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY WHEN YOUR BEHIND, OR ANY OTHER PART OF YOU PURCHASES THIS ITEM. COMBINED SHIPPING IS AVAILABLE FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE AND CERTAIN TRANSACTIONS. HOWEVER, IN TRYING TO KEEP IN STEP WITH ALL OF THOSE BIG TIME SELLERS THAT JUST WANNA MAKE EVEN THE SMALLEST THING A HASSLE AND THE FACT THAT YOU PROBABLY DESERVE MORE GRIEF IN YOUR LIFE THAN YOU'RE CURRENTLY GETTING, YOU'LL NEED TO READ THE FINE PRINT FIRST: TO QUALITY FOR COMBINED SHIPPING, A PERSON NEEDS TO MEET AND / OR EXCEED ALL OF THE FOLLOWING RIDICULOUS REQUIREMENTS: YOU NEED TO HAVE PURCHASED MORE THAN ONE ITEM FROM ME, NOT ONE ITEM FROM ME, AND A HELEN REDDY ALBUM FROM SOME WOMAN NAMED JOE. YOU NEED TO HAVE PAID FOR THOSE ITEMS WITH A PAYMENT RECEIVED BY ME, NOT ONE PAYMENT FOR ONE ITEM MADE TO ME, AND THEN YOU GO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR MONEY ON A HOOKER AT SOME SEEDY MOTEL. YOU MUST NOT BE NOW, NOR HAVE EVER BEEN, AND MUST PROMISE THAT IN THE FUTCHUM NEVER TO BE: CAUGHT SLOBBERING DRUNK AT THE PALOMINO, THEREFORE RECEIVING UP TO, AND INCLUDING 30 DAYS IN SAN BER'DINO. NUISANCE. DILLHOLE OR DILLWEED. LARRY'S MOTHER. THE GUY WHO RECENTLY HAD THE UNMITIGATED AUDACITY TO TELL ME THAT HE WAS OFFENDED BY ONE OF MY LISTINGS, AND THAT I SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF. .

DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE PROMO POSTER HAS NEVER BEEN FOLDED, I'M GONNA HAVE TO SEND IT IN A LONG SHIPPING TUBE. KINDA' LOOKS LIKE THE CARDBOARD CENTER PIECE YOU FIND WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER AND DON'T WIPE YOUR FECES CAKED BUNGHOLE. EXCEPT A LOT LONGER AND MUCH WIDER.

$14.00 FOR SHIPPING IN THE U.S.A. BUT HERE'S THE DEAL, I'LL HAVE TO SEND THE POSTER BY PRIORITY MAIL AND THE ALBUM IN A CARDBOARD RECORD MAILER BY MEDIA MAIL. WHICH MEANS THE POSTER WILL SHOW UP MANY DAYS BEFORE THE ACTUAL ALBUM ARRIVES. SO I DON'T WANNA BE HEARING: HEY MAN, WHERE'S MY RECORD MAN? YOU FORGOT TO SEND MY RECORD MAN. OK LARRY?

$34.00 FOR FIRST CLASS INTERNATIONAL AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO THE GREAT WHITE NORTH.

$48.00 FOR FIRST CLASS INTERNATIONAL AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO ANYWHERE ELSE WHERE I STILL SHIP.

NO MORE SHIPPING TO FRANCE, ITALY, RUSSIA, SWINELAND, VULGARIA, MOLDAVIA, SLOBVARIA, THE UNITED FEDERATION OF CHISELERS, , THE RIPOFF REPUBLIC OR THE PILFER ISLANDS.

HEY LARRY, YOU STILL HANGING AROUND WAY DOWN HERE? WELL SINCE YOU'RE HERE ANYWAY CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND HIS MAGIC BAND, TIM BUCKLEY , LARRY "WILD MAN" FISCHER , ALICE COOPER , STEVE VAI AND MORE FRANK ZAPPA / CAPTAIN BEEFHEART RELATED ARTISTS THAN YOU COULD SHAKE YER STICK AT, AND AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH I'VE ADDED SOME OTHER COOL PSYCHEDELIC / HARD ROCK ARTISTS FOR YOUR DANCING AND DINING PLEASURE SUCH AS: CAPTAIN BEYOND,BUBBLE PUPPY, BLUE CHEER WITH THE LEGENDARY DICKIE PETERSON, JETHRO TULL, KING CRIMSON, JIMI HENDRIX, MOUNTAIN WITH THE PORTLY LESLIE WEST AND THE EXTREMELY COOL FELIX PAPPALARDI, THE TUBES, ROOT BOY SLIM AND THE SEX CHANGE BAND, NEKTAR AND VARIOUS OTHERS IN MY E-BAY STORE.

WE HERE AT SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY KNOW THAT YOU'RE AN IMPORTANT PERSON AND DON'T LIKE TO WASTE THE TIME THAT YOU COULD OTHERWISE BE SPENDING HANGING 'ROUND THE RESTROOMS AT YOUR LOCAL BUS STATION, LOOKING FOR RARE 'N EXCITING FRANK ZAPPA AND RELATED ITEMS. SO AS A RESULT WE'VE SPARED NO EXPENSE IN PUTTING SOME RARE AND EXCITING FRANK ZAPPA AND RELATED ITEMS IN ONE PLACE; OUR E-BAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY. SO JUST GWINE ON IN THERE 'N GET A LITTLE ONYA. THE ADMISSION FEE REMAINS ABSOLUTELY FREE. . SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?