FRANK ZAPPA CAPTAIN BEEFHEART ORANGE CLAW HAMMER METAL MAN ORANGE VINYL 7" PIC S

$

57

FRANK ZAPPA WITH CAPTAIN BEEFHEART - ORANGE CLAW HAMMER - METAL MAN HAS WON HIS WINGS - - 7"ORANGE VINYL RECORD - 33 1/3 RPM SINGLE - INCLUDES A PICTURE SLEEVE - RUBBER DUBBER RECORDS - EP-333 - CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS. OK LARRY?

AS ALWAYS I PLAYED BOTH SIDES RIGHT BEFORE LISTING. BOTH SIDES PLAY GREAT AND I WAS KINDA' SURPRISED ABOUT THE QUALITY BEING PRETTY GOOD AS COLOR VINYL HAS BEEN KNOWN TO HAVE CRAPPY QUALITY. NO SCRATCHES OR SCUFFS WERE SEEN ON THE PLAYING SURFACES WHEN LIKE AN IDIOT I MOVED EM' 'ROUND N' 'ROUND UNDER A 100 WATT LIGHT BULB. THE PICTURE SLEEVE HAS A LIGHT RECORD INDENTATION, BUT BECAUSE WE'RE TIGHT I'M GONNA GIVE YEZ A HIGH QUALITY TYPE OF RECORD SLEEVE. THE SINGLE COMES WITH THE ORIGINAL PLASTIC OUTER SLEEVE. SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH? 

I'LL TELL YA, YOU JUST MIGHT WANNA BUY THIS RARE AND EXCITING ITEM FIRST, THEN YOU CAN READ SOME OF THE ANSWERS TO A FEW OF THE RECENT QUESTIONS THAT I'VE RECEIVED WHICH HAD BEEN FESTERING IN THE MINDS OF FOOLISH YOUNG CONSUMERS:

. ARE YOU REALLY REV. A. WEST, THE GREATEST LIVING ZAPPA SELLER KNOWN TO MANKIND?

. OF COURSE I AM MY SON.

. IF I BUY ONE OF YOUR RARE AND EXCITING ITEMS, BUT LATER THAT SAME DAY MY BOSS AT ST. ALPHONSO'S PANCAKE HOUSE FIRES ME, TELLING ME THAT THE REASON FOR MY TERMINATION IS THAT I'M A FAT LAZY OAF WHO ATE UP ALL OF THE PROFITS. DO I STILL NEED TO PAY FOR THE ITEM?

. OF COURSE YOU DO MY SON.

. SEVERAL WEEKS AGO MY WIFE TOLD ME THAT IF I PURCHASE JUST ONE MORE FRANK ZAPPA OR RELATED RECORD, SHE'LL STICK MY BALLS IN A VICE. DO YOU THINK THAT I SHOULD BUY A ZAPPA RECORD FROM YOU ANYWAY?

. OF COURSE YOU SHOULD MY SON. .

. I'M JUST ANOTHER MISERABLE NON-PAYING JACK O' LOAF. SO DO YOU THINK THAT IF I BUY ONE OF YOUR RARE AND EXCITING ITEMS AND NOT PAY, MY CAVERNOUS BEHIND JUST MIGHT GET KICKED OFF OF E-BAY?

. OF COURSE IT MIGHT MY SON.

. MY MAMA HAD ALWAYS SAID THAT I'M REALLY KINDA' STUPID AND UGLY TOO. RECENTLY, AFTER SMOKING IN PAJAMAS, THE RESULT OF WHICH STARTED A FIRE THAT BURNED MY FACE. MY MAMA TOLD ME THAT IT JUST MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA IF I WERE TO GO STAY WITH HER IN MANAGUA, DUE TO THE FACT THAT SHE COULD DO MY LAUNDRY AND COOK FOR ME. DO YOU THINK THAT I SHOULD JUST GO STAY WITH HER?

. OF COURSE YOU SHOULD MY SON.

. AT A RECENT STAY IN A MOTEL, I THINK THAT I MAY HAVE LOST MY WALLET. I ASKED THE HOOKER IF SHE HAD SEEN IT, BUT SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD NOT. HOWEVER, LATER THAT EVENING SHE DID ADMIT THAT SHE HAD TAKEN MY TIMEX A FEW MONTHS PRIOR. DO YOU THINK THAT SHE ALSO TOOK MY WALLET?

. OF COURSE NOT MY SON.

. THE PREACHER AT MY CHURCH IN A RECENT SERMON STATED, " IF YOU FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF PEOPLE LIKE REV. A. WEST, IT'S QUITE POSSIBLE THAT YOU COULD WIND UP IN THE PLACE WHERE THE GUY WITH THE HORNS AND POINTED STICK CONDUCTS HIS BUSINESS. ". ARE YOU THE REV. A. WEST THAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT?

. PUMP NOT THE LOAF OF THY NEIGHBOR'S OAF NOR CHOKE THY BROTHER'S CHICKEN. REV 14.

. DUE TO THE FACT THAT I HAD RECEIVED MY EDUCATION IN THE USA SCHOOL SYSTEM, I TURNED OUT BEING A COMPLETE MORON. RECENTLY WHILE READING ONE OF YOUR LISTINGS I GOT OFFENDED. AS A RESULT I SENT YOU AN E-MAIL TELLING YOU THAT YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SELF. HOWEVER, A FEW WEEKS LATER I DISCOVERED SOME ITEMS IN YOUR E-BAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY, THAT I HAVE CONSIDERED PURCHASING. SO EVEN THOUGH AS YOU HAD SUGGESTED, I'VE HAD MY MISTRESS BEAT MY ENORMOUS BUTTOCKS WITH A COPY OF ROLLING STONE EVERY NIGHT, WILL YOU STILL OFFER ME COMBINED SHIPPING?

. OF COURSE NOT MY SON.  

. WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?

. BECAUSE YOU'RE A CUMQUAT.

PAYMENT BY PAYPAL ONLY.

THIS SINGLE WILL BE SENT IN A CARDBOARD BOX WITH CARDBOARD BOX, NOT MERELY WRAPPED IN A BROWN GROCERY BAG.

A MERE $4.00 FOR FIRST CLASS MAIL SHIPPING IN THE USA.

$10.00 FOR AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO CANADA.

$15.00 FOR AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO ANY OTHER LOCATION IN THE WORLD. , SLOBVARIA, THE RIPOFF REPUBLIC OR THE PILFER ISLANDS }.

CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND THE MAGIC BAND, PLUS MORE FRANK ZAPPA RELATED ARTISTS THAN YOU CAN SHAKE YOUR STICK AT SUCH AS STEVE VAI , TIM BUCKLEY , LAWRENCE " LARRY " " WILD MAN " FISCHER , ALICE COOPER , THE GTO'S , PLUS MANY OTHER PSYCHEDELIC AND OTHER ARTISTS SUCH AS: CAPTAIN BEYOND, ROOT BOY SLIM AND THE SEX CHANGE BAND, JETHRO TULL, PINK FLOYD, NEKTAR, JIMI HENDRIX, BLUE CHEER WITH THE LEGENDARY DICKIE PETERSON, MOUNTAIN WITH THE PORTLY LESLIE WEST AND THE EXTREMELY COOL FELIX PAPPALARDI IN MY E-BAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY. BUT BE CAREFUL IT'S KINDA' TIGHT IN THERE WITH ALL OF THOSE RARE AND EXCITING ITEMS. SO I'M SUGGESTING THAT ANYONE WITH HUGE BUTTOCKS, JUST MIGHT WANNA BRING IN A LITTLE GREASE WITH THEM TO AVOID BEING STUCK, THERE-BY CREATING A SITUATION WHERE I'LL HAVE TO CONTACT THE CYBER SPACE RESCUE UNIT TO GO IN THERE TO PRY YOUR CAVERNOUS BEHIND OUT WITH THEIR DIGITAL CROW BAR. THE ADMISSION TO MY E-BAY STORE REMAINS ABSOLUTELY FREE. SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?