QUEEN'S NECTARINE MACHINE Mystical Powers 1969 SATANIC ACID PSYCH LP LISTEN

$

40

THE QUEEN'S NECTARINE MACHINE "THE MYSTICAL POWERS OF ROVING TAROT GAMBLE" LP

ORIGINAL 1969 LP on the US ABC label, STEREO ABCS 666 (ooh, scary!)

COVER IN EXCELLENT shape, small cutout hole

VINYL plays NEAR MINT!

I know they want you to be scared, but there are several reasons why the Queen’s Nectarine Machine don’t frighten me nearly as much as, say, the thought of another Ruben Studdard CD.  First of all, the four guys huddled around the candelabra in their finest devil-worshipping hooded robes seem more likely headed to an all-night session of pizza, Coke and Magic: The Gathering than an actual summoning of the supreme demonic overlord.  Secondly, I don’t even get the title – “Mystic Powers of Roving Tarot Gamble”?  Whose idea was it to put a verb at the end of that?  And do they even know what “roving” means, because I’ve never seen a tarot deck rove.  And thirdly, and most importantly, one check at the song credits reveals a certain “J. Kasenetz” and “J. Katz” involved in eight of these ten songs – and I’ve never once been scared of the 1910 Fruitgum Company.  No, wait, I take that back.  I was once scared there’d be another album. 

Well then, looks like these weekend warlocks’ secret is out.  This Garfield, New Jersey band is, in fact, one of the many bands in the Kasenetz-Katz stable.  I know they want you to think they’re dangerous enough to kidnap your virgin daughter and sacrifice her after the concert in return for a second album deal.  They even got their record label, ABC, to catalog this one as ABCS-666!  But truth is, they’re simply no more Satanic than the Lemon Pipers.  Or are they? 

Dig deeper and all kinds of weird coincidences show up in the Queen’s Nectarine Machine past.  Back when they were known as the Del-Aires, they were the band playing at the Angel Lounge in Lodi, New Jersey on the night of the infamous killings that left two police officers dead, chronicled in David Stout's book Night of the Devil.  And, not only that, they were also the beach party band playing in the horrendous 60’s Z-movie The Horror of Party Beach.  And you thought the inner sleeve of ZoSo was evil. 

Today, they blame their sub-D&D occult theme on the Kasenetz-Katz team, claiming that QNM were really a straightforward rock band influenced by the Young Rascals.  But really, who needs another one of those?  I’m glad the bubblegum popmeisters sat ‘em down and wrote over a half dozen truly demented, wigged-out, psychedelic incantations for ‘em.  Then turned the sound effects library inside out looking for the right embellishments to turn these redundant Rascals-lovers into a proper acid-drenched psychedelic powerhouse.  You can keep your blue-eyed soul – I want goats sacrificed at the altar of the backwards guitar. 

That’s right, gimme the good stuff – the wild demonic sound effect trip called “The Séance,” for example.  Where the boys go through their crazed intonations with a backdrop of wails and moans from centuries-old restless spirits.  And a distorted machine gun fuzz guitar swoops and dives overhead, giving off great big ectoplasm-spewing shards of electric feedback, wailing along with the most evil, vilest creatures ever summoned up from the bowels of Hell.  Worse than Janice Dickinson even. 

And gimme more of that pea-soup-encrusted, spinning-head goodness like “4th Dimension,” which starts off sounding like a Vanilla Fudge outtake before heading into a bouncy “Sunny Afternoon” riff, all the while dripping green gobs of faroff, echoey fuzz.  It’s like the Strawberry Alarm Clock if they were possessed by Pazuzu.  At least here they’re consistent – their lyrics are just as confusing as the title of their album: 

“Have you ever been in the 4th Dimension,

Where things are never down?

You can see through the two-faced people in the 4th Dimension

Two personalities cannot be hid.”

But hey, who has time to write when you’re busy drawing pentagrams and s#*t all over your mom’s basement floor, right?  If it’s a story you want, then drop the needle down on “Mysterious Martha Garoo,” a genuine psychedelic mindblower buried in an ever-bubbling cauldron of sound effects, moans and freakish calliope music.  Compiled on Psychosis From the 13th Dimension, and rightfully so, “Martha Garoo” is the epitome of spookhouse dementia.  Riding an evil, stomping tempo – the footmarch of the Army of Darkness – the story recalls a mysterious woman who’s doing something in her room, but we’re never quite sure what: 

“At night, eerie noises come from her room

It sounds like she’s pronouncing everyone’s doom!

Tell us what you do, Mysterious Martha Garoo.”

My guess is she’s hanging out with her brother Loop, or buggin’ the hell out of Fred Flintstone – oh wait, that was Gazoo.  But those “eerie noises” are manifested convincingly in the swirling cacophony behind the music – downright creepy otherworldly wails, enough ringing bells to drive Venom back to his home planet, and a creepy, off-kilter calliope organ conjured up from the Carnival of Souls.  More than anything else, this is the one track here you don’t wanna play in the dark, alone.  But if you should, just keep telling yourself – this is the same production team that gave us “Yummy Yummy Yummy.” 

Sure, some of the tracks here hint at what the QNM might’ve sounded like before Kasenetz-Katz got hold of ‘em – gruff blues rockers like “I Got Troubles” and “Where Are We Goin’.”  And there’s even one beautiful soft pop ballad, “Gypsy Lady,” which actually sounds a lot like the Yardbirds live staple “White Summer” with trippy double-tracked vocals.  But let’s face it, like Saw 18 (due out next summer), we come here to be scared.  And it’s the faux Ouija board conjurings we remember most.  The demented haunted house carnival rides that try harder than anything else out there to scare you with psychedelic noise.  It’s the Jason X of bubblegum rock.  And it’s a roving tarot gamble that really pays off.

HEAR IT!

PLEASE NOTE I NO LONGER SHIP TO ITALY DUE TO A CORRUPT POSTAL SYSTEM (THERE, NOT HERE).  BUYERS FROM ITALY AGREE TO PAY FOR GLOBAL PRIORITY MAIL INSURED ONLY!

The less exciting stuff

Media mail shipping with delivery confirmation starts at $4.00 in the US, with each additional record only $1 additional shipping.  I accept payments through Paypal. 

I try to grade as best as I can, and I list as many blemishes/imperfections I can find (writing, ringwear, scuff marks, etc.) – Also, please note that I DO listen to these albums – I may not listen to every track, but my grades are based on LISTENING, not just looking at it, since chances are you’ll be listening to the record you buy, not just looking at it.  Most of the albums I sell are the ones I’ve enjoyed for years – and I treat my records with kid gloves.  But sounds speak louder than words, so check out the sound clips below – they’re from the actual record you’re bidding on. 

SHIPPING AND PACKAGING

Listen, I buy a bunch of records too (when I’m not getting outbid at the last second, which is more often than not) – and I know what it’s like to get a rare, one-of-a-kind album packaged dangerously in a flimsy bubblewrap package.  I hate that too.  So rest assured, I ALWAYS package albums with stiff cardboard reinforcements, same for 45s.  And yes, the records are removed from the sleeves (for albums).  I ship out once a week, every Friday, because I have a regular day job.  But I’d be willing to give that up if you’d all be so kind as to bid my items up to stupidly high amounts. 

 For more security and international tracking, you may request GLOBAL PRIORITY MAIL - but bear in mind the cost of this service is upwards of $30.  For expensive items, however, it may be well worth it.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a cost-effective way of tracking parcels to foreign countries yet, and shipping times vary depending on your country’s postal system.   Italy in particular seems to be really bad at delivering packages quickly, or delivering packages at all, now that you mention it.  I will always email you when your package ships, but once it’s on its way, please don’t ask me when it will arrive because I don’t know.  If the world’s postal systems can ever agree on a universal tracking system that’s affordable, I’ll be the first to use it.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN…

I will always leave positive feedback for successful transactions, and would appreciate the same in return.  All I ask of you is the following – please pay for your items within 14 days of the close of auction.  Compared to other sellers, that’s a generous amount of time, so if you don’t pay within 2 weeks, then I have to assume something’s wrong.  You’ll get an Ebay payment reminder at that point, and possibly a decapitated horse head in your bed.  If, after 30 days, you still haven’t forked up the cash, I’ll relist the item and yell at you if I ever see you in town.