LORDS Ulleogamaxbe 1969 GERMAN BEATLES PSYCH LP LISTEN

$

102

WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS…

THE LORDS "Ulleogamaxbe"

Original 1969 LP on the German COLUMBIA label, Stereo SMC 74343

COVER:  EXCELLENT, beautiful

VINYL:  Still shiny, plays VG+ to VG++ steady but light crackle

After all the unhealthy admiration and continuous accolades heaped upon Sergeant Pepper throughout the years (and it’s still going on), it’s nice to see one band more enamored with Magical Mystery Tour.  And it’s a German band too, who’da thunk THAT?  Think about it – when was the last time you saw Mystery in the Top 100 Albums of All Time list put out by your favorite smug music magazine?  Never.  Yet rest assured there’s Pepper up there at #1, or #2 if it’s a super-smug magazine and they saw fit to put the Sex Pistols or the Clash or Miles Davis (smug and esoteric) in the top spot.  But if’n ya ask me, and someone out there did I heard it, Mystery’s got just as many classic songs on it as Pepper does, and – this is important – it doesn’t have “When I’m 64.”  So where’s the love already?

Germany’s Lords understood where their kuchen was buttered – if in fact kuchen gets buttered and I’m not sure.  There they are on the cover of this, their 1969 long player, dressed in their finest Magical Mystery Tour frippery, forgoing the standard Pepper police uniforms for psychedelic parkas and kaftans and letters that look they were plucked from the pages of some hip French adult cartoon (Le Jeu de Massacre anyone?).  Even the title, Ulleogamaxbe, is a nod in Mystery’s direction, roughly translating (and I’m a bit rusty) to “The walrus was Hans.”  I half expected there to be a black and white movie accompanying this record that nearly ended the Lords’ career, but if there was one, I haven’t found it yet.

The difference between the two bands, of course, is that the Beatles came up with memorable hooks more often than Sugar Ray Leonard, and they were at the top of their game from 1964-1970.  The Lords, on the other hand, were mostly known for weak beat stuff crossed with the music of their land, and by that I mean polka and oompah.  Not a pretty picture.  Ulleogamaxbe changed all that, like a shot of brilliance out of nowhere, something akin to finding out that the new Lady Gaga album actually has substance.  It’s the Lords at their Beatles heights, and maybe that’s because, at least for one album, they imagined themselves to be the Beatles.  One after another, like a White Album from the Black Forest, the hits just keep a-comin’.  It’s quite an amazing burst of talent from an otherwise iffy bunch.

Things start out promising with the viola introduction to “And At Night,” a breathy, moody slice of Teutonic freakbeat that sounds like it could’ve come from the Pretty Things’ SF Sorrow.  There’s even a few very Dick Taylor guitar fills.  This is quickly followed by the trance-like “Perkinsons Ride,” a slow organ burn droning tripper with constant cyclical guitar.  “Dear Prudence” with Gary Brooker sitting in.  A bouncy “Your Mother Should Know” number follows, after which we get something that’s just one Allen Klein phone call away from “Fool On The Hill.”  The album’s two strongest tracks – and also the most psychedelic and worthiest of those kaftans on the cover – are the hard-driving “Help, the World Is Falling” and the brilliantly twisted “Fire.”  The former is a ragged guitar-scraping rocker that’s equal parts Creation freakbeat and “Magical Mystery Tour,” the song.  And while there’s nothing as freakishly dark and criminally irresponsible as “Fire” on Magical Mystery Tour the album, its spy flick bassline is very reminiscent of “Hey Bulldog.”  With some insane German-language spoken word break.  Two of the Lords’ most amazing songs, back to back even.

Granted, not all the songs on Ulleogamaxbe are Fab Four worthy gems.  I mean, they’re still the Lords after all.  I live an hour outside of Philadelphia, and when a German beat band sings stuff like “Philadelphia, Philadephia, life is moving here.  Philadelphia, Philadelphia, you’ve got atmosphere” over a bouncy xylophone, well, it kinda makes me wince.  Especially because I know for a fact that the “atmosphere” here is nearly toxic.  And I’m sure it’s equally painful for Illinois residents to hear the Lords sing about their gangster past in “Feelin’ Chicago.”  At least the Beatles knew not to sing about anyplace outside England.  There’s a cue they should’ve taken from their heroes.

But aside from those few geographic deviations, Ulleogamaxbe is clearly a band at the height of their powers, a far better way to remember the Lords rather than, say, their cover of “Greensleeves” or “Ain’t She Sweet.”  Channeling the Beatles done them good.  Oddly enough, they broke up 2 years later.  Seriously.  Now that’s dedication.

UPDATE:  SORRY, I NO LONGER SHIP TO ITALY DUE TO A CORRUPT POSTAL SYSTEM (THERE, NOT HERE).

The less exciting stuff

Media mail shipping with delivery confirmation starts at $4.00 in the US, with each additional record only $1 additional shipping.  ALL DOMESTIC ORDERS REQUIRE DELIVERY CONFIRMATION, WHICH IS AN EXTRA 75 CENTS.  Air mail shipping to Canada starts at $10 US, each additional record $2 shipping.  Air mail shipping everywhere else in the world starts at $16 US, with each additional record only $3 shipping.  ALL FOREIGN ORDERS REQUIRE CERTIFICATE OF SHIPMENT, WHICH IS AN EXTRA $1.10.  I accept payments through Paypal. 

I try to grade as best as I can, and I list as many blemishes/imperfections I can find (writing, ringwear, scuff marks, etc.) – Also, please note that I DO listen to these albums – I may not listen to every track, but my grades are based on LISTENING, not just looking at it, since chances are you’ll be listening to the record you buy, not just looking at it.  Most of the albums I sell are the ones I’ve enjoyed for years – and I treat my records with kid gloves.  But sounds speak louder than words, so check out the sound clips below – they’re from the actual record you’re bidding on. 

SHIPPING AND PACKAGING

Listen, I buy a bunch of records too (when I’m not getting outbid at the last second, which is more often than not) – and I know what it’s like to get a rare, one-of-a-kind album packaged dangerously in a flimsy bubblewrap package.  I hate that too.  So rest assured, I ALWAYS package albums with stiff cardboard reinforcements, same for 45s.  And yes, the records are removed from the sleeves (for albums).  I ship out once a week, every Friday, because I have a regular day job.  But I’d be willing to give that up if you’d all be so kind as to bid my items up to stupidly high amounts. 

And finally, I include delivery confirmation on all shipments inside the US.  This is my proof of shipment, and also helps us to track your package if it doesn’t arrive when it should.  I will email you within 2 days of shipment and give you the confirmation number at that time.  Insurance is always optional, but for larger orders, it’s highly recommended.   I DO NOW REQUIRE THAT ALL FOREIGN BUYERS PAY AN ADDITIONAL $1.10 FOR PROOF OF SHIPMENT.  IT'S A NOMINAL FEE AND THE CHEAPEST WAY FOR ME TO PROVE THAT I ACTUALLY SHIPPED YOUR PACKAGE AND DIDN'T JUST POCKET YOUR MONEY AND SKIP TOWN.  For more security and international tracking, you may request GLOBAL PRIORITY MAIL - but bear in mind the cost of this service is upwards of $30.  For expensive items, however, it may be well worth it.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a cost-effective way of tracking parcels to foreign countries yet, and shipping times vary depending on your country’s postal system.   Italy in particular seems to be really bad at delivering packages quickly, or delivering packages at all, now that you mention it.  I will always email you when your package ships, but once it’s on its way, please don’t ask me when it will arrive because I don’t know.  If the world’s postal systems can ever agree on a universal tracking system that’s affordable, I’ll be the first to use it.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN…

I will always leave positive feedback for successful transactions, and would appreciate the same in return.  All I ask of you is the following – please pay for your items within 14 days of the close of auction.  Compared to other sellers, that’s a generous amount of time, so if you don’t pay within 2 weeks, then I have to assume something’s wrong.  You’ll get an Ebay payment reminder at that point, and possibly a decapitated horse head in your bed.  If, after 30 days, you still haven’t forked up the cash, I’ll relist the item and yell at you if I ever see you in town.