1969 THE *^$):{ OF MOTHERS INVENTION ORIGINAL USA VERVE LP FRANK ZAPPA LARRY?

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OCTOBER 13TH 1969 - THE ?**!!^: - THIS IS A COMPILATION THAT VERVE RECORDS RELEASED OF SOME OF THE WORST CRUD RECORDED BY THIS BAND - VERVE RECORDS - V6-5074 - CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS AND READ THE ENTIRE DESCRIPTION DOWN THERE,  AFTER YOU SCROLL PAST THE ANSWER TO A QUESTION THAT HAS BEEN FESTERING IN THE MINDS OF FOOLISH YOUNG CONSUMERS - OK LARRY?

RECENTLY, A CONSUMER COINCIDENTALLY NAMED LARRY WITH AN INQUIRING MIND ASKED ME:

HEY REV, HOW COME YOU OFTEN WRITE "OK LARRY" IN YOUR LISTINGS? THIS LARRY WANTS TO KNOW.

WELL LARRY, IT'S BECAUSE IN A RECENT SURVEY CONDUCTED BY REV. A. WEST, THE GREATEST LIVING ZAPPA SELLER KNOWN TO MANKIND, REVEALED THAT 70% OF ALL MALES WHO SAID THEY LIKED FRANK ZAPPA WERE NAMED LARRY. NOW CHECK THIS OUT: OUT OF THE REMAINING 30% THAT WEREN'T NAMED LARRY, 20% WERE FEMALES, 30% ALTHOUGH THEY WEREN'T ACTUALLY NAMED LARRY, HAD FRIENDS WHO OFTEN CALLED THEM LARRY ANYWAY, AND ANOTHER 40% LATER ADMITTED TO ME THAT THEY DIDN'T REALLY LIKE FRANK ZAPPA, BUT TOLD ME THEY DID JUST TO F*CK MY SURVEY UP.

ALSO, I'D BET THAT MOST IF NOT ALL OF THE FEMALES WHO WEREN'T NAMED LARRY, BUT SAID THEY LIKED FRANK ZAPPA WERE PROBABLY LYING TOO. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW THAT NO FEMALES  EVER REALLY LIKED ZAPPA. SO WHAT DOES ALL O' THIS CRUD MEAN?

WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT NAMED LARRY AND LIKE FRANK ZAPPA, YOU JUST MIGHT WANNA CHANGE YOUR NAME TO LARRY. SO YOU CAN BE LIKE THE OTHERS, JUST LIKE YOU. OK LARRY?

SIDE ONE POOTS FORTH: STATUS BACK BABY - WOWIE ZOWIE - YOU DIDN'T TRY TO CALL ME - INVOCATION & RITUAL DANCE OF THE YOUNG PUMPKIN - SOFT-SELL CONCLUSION.

SIDE TWO OOZES OUT: BOW-TIE DADDY - UNCLE BERNIE'S FARM - CONCENTRATION MOON - GO CRY ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S SHOULDER - FLOWER PUNK - MOTHERLY LOVE.

HEAVY CARDBOARD GATEFOLD COVER HAS A DRILL HOLE AND SOME CLEAR TAPE ON THE SEAMS. DON'T KNOW WHY AS IT LOOKS LIKE THERE WERE NO SEAM SPLITS. IT'S A NICE CRISP COVER WITH VERY LITTLE IF ANY RING WEAR.

BOTH SIDES OF THE RECORD SOUND GREAT. SIDE 1 LOOKS BEAUTIFUL, I DON'T EVEN SEE ANY SCUFFS SIDE 2 HAS ACTUALLY TWO VISIBLE SCUFFS, I TOOK A PHOTO OF ONE OF THEM , THE OTHER ONE IS REAL SMALL. BUT THEY'RE SCUFFS, NOT DEEP GROOVE SCRATCHES, AND HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR THOSE 2, THIS 48 YEAR OLD RECORD WOULD HAVE BEEN VIRTUALLY PERFECT. NO SPINDLE MARKS ON THE LABELS. THE RECORD ORIGINALLY CAME IN A PLAIN WHITE INNER SLEEVE THAT I KEPT AND IS INCLUDED, BUT NOW THE RECORD COMES IN A HIGH QUALITY COLLECTOR'S INNER SLEEVE. BUT WAIT..., YES THERE'S MORE, BECAUSE DUE TO THE FACT THAT WEEZE TIGHT, I'M GONNA GIVE YEZ A PLASTIC OUTER SLEEVE ABSOLUTELY FREE. HOTCHA!!!! 

FREE MEDIA MAIL SHIPPING IN THE U.S.A.

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HEY LARRY, YOU STILL HANGING AROUND WAY DOWN HERE? WELL SINCE IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO TONITE SIMPLY CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND HIS MAGIC BAND, TIM BUCKLEY , LARRY "WILD MAN" FISCHER , ALICE COOPER , STEVE VAI , PLUS MORE FRANK ZAPPA / CAPTAIN BEEFHEART RELATED ARTISTS AND GROUPS THAN YEZ CAN SHAKE YER STICK AT, AND AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH I'VE ADDED SOME COOL PSYCHEDELIC / HARD ROCK ARTISTS FOR YOUR DANCING AND DINING PLEASURE SUCH AS: CAPTAIN BEYOND, KING CRIMSON. JETHRO TULL, JIMI HENDRIX, PINK FLOYD, THE TUBES, BULL ANGUS, BLUE CHEER WITH THE LEGENDARY DICKIE PETERSON, MOUNTAIN WITH THE PORTLY LESLIE WEST AND THE EXTREMELY COOL FELIX PAPPAPARDI, ROOT BOY SLIM AND THE SEX CHANGE BAND, AND MANY OTHERS IN MY E-BAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY. WHERE THE BUNS ARE ALWAYS HOT AND THE MUFFINS JUST MIGHT BE PERSUADED INTO REMOVING THEIR ROSETTAS EVEN FOR SOME GEEZER FROM THE CRUSTATION PERIOD, BACK WHEN CRUSTY GEEZERS ROAMED THE EARTH. THE ADMISSION REMAINS ABSOLUTELY FREE. . SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?